My Inadequacy; His Sufficiency
It’s nearly dinner time. Two of my kids are off at basketball practice, having neglected many of their chores today and I am not happy about it. The kitchen is a mess and there are more tasks on my to-do list without a strike-through than are checked off. The holiday train is roaring down the tracks and it has me in its sights – there are presents to buy and send, groceries to buy and all kinds of feasts and goodies to prepare. There are people I really need to touch base with, who I feel I’ve neglected. I know the things I need to be spending my time on, yet I can’t seem to get around to them day after day after day.
I feel like a failure.
And yet the Lord gently whispers that this is all to be expected here in the shadowlands, as C.S. Lewis so aptly put it. My kids will have days where they don’t manage their time well; that is part of growing up. My house will not always be completely put together because you know… we live in it. It is silly for me to think I will accomplish all that needs doing in any given day or hour.
Our culture tells us that we can do anything we set our mind to, but that’s a lie. I tell myself that I can do it all, pulling myself up by my bootstraps, because that’s what mothers with a house full of teenagers do. But guess what? That’s also a lie.
I can’t do it. It is just the way of things to feel in adequate. Why? Because I am inadequate. I wasn’t meant to be able to handle all the demands that come at me in a day. I wasn’t designed to function independently. I am not all-sufficient.
But I know the One who is.
And that’s the point.
Often the thought crosses my mind that I was born in the wrong time period. I can become easily overwhelmed by the fast paced, tech-oriented way of this information age. But the Lord reminds me that I was born for this. This time. This place. He chose this exact situation for me. And He equipped me for it.
So, when I feel incapable or overwhelmed or weighed down by all that is undone – the messy kitchen, the evidence of chores neglected by my kids, my endless to do list – I have a choice. I can give myself a pep talk, allowing my frustration to propel me into a new level of productivity, or I can make a coffee, sit down, and spend a few intentional minutes with Him, remembering His goodness, His nearness, His capability, and the truth He speaks over me. The enemy would love to see me crumble under these feelings and thoughts. But when I take them to Him, instead of trying to handle it all on my own, I turn those firey arrows back where they came from. I can allow my inadequacy to showcase His all sufficiency. I can let it push me into His presence to just be with Him for a minute. The mess will be there when I’m done, but I’m certain it won’t feel as overwhelming. Jesus and I can clean it up together.
That’s the wonderful thing about Jesus. He is with us – present in the every day. His peace is available to us anytime, anywhere, any circumstance. We need only to be mindful of it.
If you’re like me and become easily panicked, discouraged, or frustrated by the fact that you aren’t enough, take a breath and remember Who is. Stop and ask Him what He considers most important and then step into that thing. It might be as simple as doing the dishes or running an errand. It doesn’t really matter what you are doing, but that you have nestled your heart into His peace as you do it.
And when the evening comes and your to-do list is longer than you’d like it to be, remember that He holds tomorrow. He will be with you tomorrow and He will continue to guide you. Shalom, friends.